Understand your pain points and learn how to get confident now!

What happens when we are introduced to someone ? Do you stammer for words figuring out how to introduce yourself? or are you ready to face the stranger confidently?

What happens when you are asked to fill in for an absent speaker and asked to share your story with the audience? Do you freeze? or are you prepared to share some facts,opinions ,quotes and experiences?

What happens when you are asked to make a presentation on the awesome product or service you offer ? Do you get butterflies in your stomach ? or do you seize the moment with your pitch?

“Opportunity knocks but once “ we all know this , but what we do not know is how to make the opportunity work for us. “Confidence a by-product of Courage”is all that you need to conquer the world. Now the question arises how to identify your confident flaws or how to understand what hinders you from being confident. For this you need to understand the relationship between courage and confidence. You cannot be confident without being courageous and vice versa.

I admit that it takes a lot of courage to even stand in an audience , a team , or a gathering and talk. Why? because when you see pairs of eyes staring at you your biological instincts trigger up. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. When these eyes pierce you ,your first instinct is to hide and protect yourself from any harm.Its like hunting, you stare at your target before shooting. Now the question is how to over come this fear? First believe that no one will harm you. Second imagine the person you are comfortable with talking standing in front of you,make eye contact with that person and start talking. You may even imagine that you are facing a  mirror and talking to yourself. This will give you the courage to talk leading you to being confident.

At a workshop last recently , I am asked to name a person (whoever he/she maybe) and write three qualities about that person which I think are his/her confidence attributes. I begin to think , and write as told. Before you scroll down I want you to do the same now.It is important that you do this else you derive nothing out of this post. Please go ahead and give yourself a couple of minutes.

I wrote  – Mr X , I feel is confident because

1. He is far-sighted
2. Is non judgemental
3. Is entertaining

Now its was time to turn the tables around. The speaker told ” Do you know what you just written as 1,2 and 3 are actually your own blocks which prevent you from being confident ” Ahha!  What you perceive as confidence in others is actually traits you are missing on. If I can be far-sighted , non judgemental and if I can laugh on my own jokes and entertain I can be confident.  You get it ? If you can master your 1,2 and 3 you can get confident too. Keep your 1, 2 and 3 always with you and revisit them before making a presentation next time and you will see the difference. Once you are confident you get the courage to stand and address.

 

Hope this excercise helps you just like it is helping me each day. At the end of the presentation I asked the speaker ,“How can instill confidence in children?”. He paused and then said “let them see you” ! Once you are confident they will follow suit. Share your failure stories with them , telling them how you have risen from the fall and inspire them and motivate them to confidence.

I walked out of the room feeling confident and determined to self improve myself .

Stay tuned for my next post on what to say and what not and on body language and how it changes the course of your presentation.

Happiness and sunshine

Nidhi

P.S: Do share your confidence stories and what inspires you to do more. looking forward to connect with you on this …