Think Happy Thoughts

Remember my post on word games called Quiz ? which spoke of playing brain games with children. Well, this time around in Kolkata I decided to play a few of them with a group of kids. In one of the game I asked them to say one positive and one negative thing about any chosen person in the group. To my amazement they could write an essay on the negative qualities in the other ,but could not think of even one positive attribute in that same chosen person. As a result of which the game ended up in a fight losing all its charm and effectiveness.

On another instance I was putting 4 kids to sleep as a routine asked them to say their thank you prayers before sleeping . After which I made them to do some deep breathing and then imagine a happy moment and sleep with a big smile. To my astonishment they recollected all the fights ignoring all the happy playful moments they had spent in each others company.

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Is this only limited to kids? Are we not forgetting  to think happy? We all know that thoughts follow actions , then why can’t we think happy for each other? Once we as responsible adults start conversing good about each other , think happy and bless each other our kids will follow suit. Gossip a term associated with negativity can be made positive by making it healthy , lucrative and helpful. Replace criticism with praises and learn to compliment each other graciously. Do not get me wrong I am not talking of false praises or fake compliments, but honestly trying to find out good qualities in each other and nurturing them.It is very easy to copy whats wrong , but needs an effort to rectify and copy the right.

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Now I have made it a point to cautiously discuss good qualities in people and inculcate the habit of positive thinking in my kids. Are you still thinking? make it your resolution too.

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Happiness and sunshine 🙂

 

 

Little Stuff

Kids return home from the first day of school this Monday the 7th of Aug 2017. They return with their bags heavier, their minds busier. Eyes full of excitement, voice filled with numerous stories waiting for an ear to hear them out.

But what happens??

ME: “Sparsh, hurry up and get into your kurta pyjama, we need to celebrate raksha bandhan “.

Sparsh: “Ok, but listen I did this ……..

Before he could finish, I rush out of the room to grab their bags and empty out their bottles.

Anaya: “Mummy I fell down in school and see I have a small scratch and you know Joan and me….

ME:” Anaya, Please tell me all this later, finish your snacks quickly time for dance class.”

The evening passed by, both attended their respective classes and we celebrated Raksha Bandhan in between the hustle, wrapped up dinner and finally called the busy day off. But I could not sleep. I found myself trying to hear the unheard, trying to fix the broken pieces of our conversations and make sense out of it. But alas, I failed.  I then realise that I had missed the bus.

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We all do this, Right? We tend to give priority to our words but often miss out on little things our kids want to share with us. Either we don’t have the time or we don’t want to waste time listening to them. Whatever be the case we just ignore them only to get ignored later in life. Well, you might say, Nidhi I am not free each time at their disposal,Yes I agree, but at least you can tell them that you are busy then and would love to hear them out after a specified time, and then return to hear (and not listen) to what they have to say.

 

Kids tend to become less expressive, less talkative and lose their EQ if they are not given the freedom of expression along with positive interaction and feedback.  Think twice before shooing away your kids. As a rule I read bedtime stories to my kids and share the day with them before putting them to sleep. This not only helps me to bond with them, but also helps me to understand their always active mind, body and soul.

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On that note, happiness and sunshine as always.

Nidhi

P.S : Do read my blogs titled Headphones and EQ to understand me better.

Head phones 

Head phones , ear phones , headset whatever you call them , they all serve the same purpose , brings you closer to sound and lets you experience the magic of mechanical waves and the vibrations they produce.

I was at Kuala Lumpur airport waiting for my flight to Johor Bahru, and I saw each and every soul glued to their screens with a ear phone plugged in the ear. Some swayed their heads suggesting their interest in music, while the others were busy communicating catching up with work. 

 A mother instructing her kids on rest room etiquettes at the top of her voice ,why ? Obviously because of the ear phones she was wearing , she could not hear her own noise. A Father ordering at Mary brown ,and asking his child for his choice, who ignored him as if he never existed. The frustrated father then lifts his hair to pull out the ear phones and proceed with his order. The flight attendants shaking a man on the couch , requesting him to proceed towards boarding , he had obviously missed the final call .
While I am still trying to understand this ear phone business, I see my bunnies sharing earphones and listening to a song on the iPod. I decide to communicate with them in signs and signal them to finish their donuts before we get into our next flight .

While a ear phone gives us the liberty to listen what we want to listen it sometimes keeps us from hearing the important. What we need to master is to hear the noise and filter it’s application. We all have a filter on our ear drums which allows selective frequencies into our ear and discards the noise. We listen to want we intend to and discard the heard.


For instance we hear the church bell ring , or the neighbour’s dog bark. These are sounds we don’t intend to listen to. While on the other hand listening to a piece of advice is active listening. Hearing is effortless while listening is with effort. 
It’s better to listened to that to be simply heard. 


Happiness and sunshine 🙂 

Strangers 

What do you do when your child refuses to greet and meet people at party? I have often seen mothers forcing their child to say “hello” and then boast about their social skills. They don’t mind bribing the child for a candy , making sure they speak. 

But how many of us understand the reason behind this refusal? Some call them shy some timid, some  reserved  or non social kids. But a recent encounter with a pair of sisters aged (10 and 8)changed  my perception for good.

Again at the passport office while I was waiting my turn along with fellow citizens , I initiated to converse with these two sisters. The older one answered my questions with ease while the younger one kept on looking at her sister before she returned to answer me. This may seem normal to many but left me with a food of thought . 


Don’t talk to strangers ! Don’t accept gifts from strangers! Don’t we all teach these rules of safety to our children from the time they enter Pre school. Then why do we get embarrassed when  our children chide away. Instead of scolding them and rolling out eyes , just bent down look at them in their eye and assure them that it’s safe to talk . They only want your permission , they look up to you for approval ,for a stranger to them may not be a stranger to you. Scolding and forcing them creates a conflict of doubt in them, wherein they begin to question their own judgement.

Just like us , children also take time to mingle, respect this fact and thank your stars that you have taught them well. Later that night , I told Anaya about the two sisters and how they spoke with me . To my surprise she said “Mumma,did you know their parents?” NO, I said . “Then why did you speak with strangers ? bad habit” she replied .

I silently thanked my stars and kissed her good night .

Happiness and sunshine 🙂

Quiz

I was sitting under the sun waiting for my turn at the passport seva  Kendra this week. My batch was 13 and I reached my venue an hour earlier thanks to Bangalore traffic that day. 


Beside me were  seated a young family comprising of a 6 yr old girl and her parents. I was amazed by this girl’s presence of mind. She was sitting there solving word games on her mom’s phone. Later she played some quiz with her father in general knowledge and geography. She was not confident with her mathematics tables to which her father suggested “NO more of stupid TV shows and you tube videos” 

Often when children trouble us , we offer them screen times . We have forgotten our own  mental skills. How many telephone numbers do you remember ? I made a note to play mental games more often  with my kids from there on. Paper and pen games like making boxes , scrabble , word guess , sudoku, word search , jig saw puzzles are also running in my mind now . Pitcionary is something we can enjoy as a family  and spend quality time too. How many of you remember name place animal thing game ? Does this not sound exciting even today ! Then go ahead and try it with your kids , I am sure they will love it as much. 

I also shall make it a point to carry a notepad and pen with me in my handbag every time and innovate constructive thinking games while commuting or otherwise.limiting screen time is a must for the development of kids. Apart from hampering growth it affects the physical , mental and psychological development of the child too.

Do share your games in the comments and make kids smarter and full of life . 

Happiness and sunshine 🙂

READ

  

Caught you , just like Mr the Stephens above you are found guilty of reading, yes READING! Now you may say, “What a silly thing to say, You write so I have read, what’s wrong in that?”

Well what I want to share today I beyond this, but very well related to reading.

We all read, our morning begins with reading the newspaper followed by juggling between emails the entire day and calling the day off with a book at night. Sounds good? Yes of course! But my question to you is how much do you retain from your reads? The key is not to read more but to read better. It is important to read books, but it’s more important to remember your read and put it into good use thereby making it more productive.

How many of you make notes of your reads? Fiction or nonfiction every article or book you read has an underlying message, it’s like the morale of the story often referred in bed time stories to children. My Grandfather used to cut newspaper clippings and file them for future reference, today you take a snap shot and save it in your phone which mostly gets lost in your gallery.

You start reading, anything a book, a blog, an article, get intruded by the words, some may even touch your cords and force you to think beyond. You keep reading. You finish the book. Take a large breath in and keep the book down with a sigh, never to be seen again. The book resides in your shelf, and the thoughts die out in your mind after a couple of minutes or stays with you for a couple of days and eventually fades out.

What happens to your read? What was the purpose of your read? Does this not get lost, it specially holds true for books on self-improvement, where a thought is triggered only to die out in a short while.
My question to you is “How do you make your read count?” Today I want to share somethings which I follow to make them count.

Keep a pen and paper handy. Write down why you choose to read what you just read.

Point down take away from your reads and has it answered the above question?

Relate them with real life incidents to remember them more appropriately.

Summarise the book in three sentences.

• Store these in a way which is reachable and searchable to you, for reference.

You make want to keep these in a diary or save it in your laptop. The choice is yours, but the purpose remains the same. Hope I have made my write more readable and searchable.

Happiness and sunshine 🙂
 

 

EQ

As adults we are often taught to hide our emotions from our children. Sad or angry , we always face our children with a smile on our lips. Remember your mother drying up her tears before she attended you?

 

My question is why don’t we share our emotions with our kids? Why don’t we express happiness on buying a new house ? Or regret having fought over trivial things with your partner. Why don’t we tell them what’s upsetting to us versus to what brings calm to the mind? And to top in all, we expect our little ones to act as per our moods. If they are not told about emotions and explained on how to handle them correctly, how will they give you space at ease , or accompany you to the super market offering help. And if they do not react the way you want , you blame them ,Right!  STOP,  blame yourself.

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Intelligent Quotient (IQ) is taught in schools which measures  the academic intelligence in a child , But Emotional Quotient (EQ) should be taught by parents, even before a child starts schooling. EQ is nothing but social intelligence which comes from accepting and embracing emotions. It makes them good leaders, have strong relations ,negotiate tricky situations and have greater self-awareness.

Only when you share your feelings (both negative and positive) with your kids and allow then to perceive it for themselves ,will they develop a stronger EQ. A happy child tends to pick up a happy bear at a toy shop. What they feel in the inside reflects in their personalities and eventually becomes their way of life.

After watching the movie “Inside Out” which demonstrates 5 emotions namely joy,fear,disgust,anger and sadness by an 11 year old characters Railey, Sparsh came up to me and said, “Mom, its OK to be sad , it’s not always bad” . “Yes he was the hero in the movie “adds Anaya.

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Thankfully I am raising EQ children , who understand feelings and use their IQ to comprehend and react accordingly. It will be great if you get into the habit of keeping a jar full of emotions , and ask your children to participate too. I will make one too, and you?

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Happiness and sunshine 🙂