Words can either build you or destroy you. This is no rocket science, still some can deliver it well and some cannot. Ever wondered what makes them stand out? Not that they offer anything better to what you are offering, or they wear expensive labels or sit on a heavier bank balance. NO, what they have and you don’t is CONFIDENCE and the ability to use the RIGHT WORDS AT THE RIGHT TIME.
I urge you to please read my earlier post on confidence to understand better.Now, that I assume you have the right confidence analyse the below scenario’s:
Scenario 1 – JUST and ONLY
I amjust 10 years old in the industry or I am only 10 years old in the industry.
We offer only art supplies or We havejust started to offer art supplies.
I am 10 years old in the industry. (suggests that you have a long way to go)
We offer art supplies at our store. (this does not mean we don’t offer anything else)
Note how the use of the words just and only limits your offerings and kills your confidence. But When you eliminate these two words from your sentences it opens up windows and channels to explore.
I got your mail nowhas a greater impact on the sender vs I just got your mail. While the former emphasis on the time value to the sender, the latter suggests you were busy with something else till now.
Scenario 2 – SURE and KINDA
I will surely do it.
I am kinda (or kind of) confused on this subject.
I will do this or Yes, I will do it. (sounds more certain)
I am confused on this subject. (I have no idea on this subject)
Note when you use sure or kinda you raise a doubt which leaves the other party confused. Whereas when you eliminate these words completely, you show confidence. Replacing them with yes or absolutely in your conversation leaves no room for doubts and makes you sound certain.
Scenario 3 – HONESTLY and ANYWAY
Honestly, I have no idea on this.
I am to do it anyway.
When you say these two words it sends a signal that what you said prior to this was either not honest or didn’t really matter.
Scenario 4 – BUT, IF and THINK
I will do this but not that, denotes a condition whereas when you say “I will do this and not that” gives you authority and makes it crystal leaving no conditions at play.
If you do your homework, you will get a chocolate. This rolls the ball to the receiver’s end. He or she decides the course of action. Whereas if you say “When you do your homework, you will get a chocolate” gives no choice to the receiver, instead it gives direction and leads the way.
I think this is an insect. This sentence creates doubts because you might be guessing it is an insect. Whereas when you say “I know this is an insect” shows that you are aware of the insect and are certain about it.
Changing but to and, if to when and think to I know adds the flavour of confidence to your words. Replace them today and see for yourself now!
Scenario 5 – YEAH and WAS
Using “Yeah “may deem modern but does not have the same gravity as saying “Yes”. Yeah ! I know this is less impactful than saying Yes! I know this. Using yes makes you sound confident.
Lastly do not forget to talk in present tense while story telling. I have learnt this in my course of blogging and writing my travel diaries, that readers do not wish to be re told an experience they need to relive it. Tell what is happening and not what happened. This happened as I entered the bathroom looses interest while this is happening to me as I am entering the bathroom grabs attention from its listeners. Ever notice the news reporters on TV?
Deleting these 11 words and replacing them with above suggestions will demonstrate confidence in you. It will make your words count and result into action. In the workshop by Ryan Avery ,a motivational key note speaker , I am asked to check my sent box and find out how many times I have used non appropriate words. It leaves me in shock and I realise the potential of using the right words at the right time and at the right place.
To my recent question on ” what word you think you should remove from your vocabulary and why ?” I got various answers . But the one suggestion by a friend touched me in my heart . She said replace all negative words with unusual and make a difference. Instead of complaining about food or job or any experience just try saying , the food tastes unusual , my job is unusually challenging or I had an unusual experience. Wow what a learning that is for me .
It is quite a challenge and I am ready to accept it. Are you with me on this? Do let me know in the comments below. Stay tiuned for my next post on body language.
Happiness and sunshine as always,
P.S: Tip – Take a print of the image above and keep it on your desk. Trust me it helps.