Hello Friends and welcome back,
Apologies for a late post. But never the less, I am back. Today we will looks at keeping arguments at bay, and making disagreements constructive and healthy. Sounds funny ? Yes its doable.
Please note
Not all disagreements can be resolved immediately. Some need more time. Other may never be resolved because of enduring differences. In this case, agree to disagree and shake on it. At the end of the day, the people at the other end of the conversation are far more important than proving you are right. Disagreements are a part of everyday life. Learning the fine art of disagreeing without disrespect can make life flow a lot more smoothly.
BUT HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?
Simple just follow these steps.
- Don’t make it personal. If you get upset, use it to remember that you’re mad at the idea or concept your parent (or friend, coach, coworker, etc.) is raising, not the person.
- Avoid putting down the other person’s ideas and beliefs. If you’ve ever been on the receiving end of someone’s tirade or put-downs, you know how valuable using respectful language and behavior can be. So instead of saying what you might be thinking (“That’s a stupid idea!”), try: “I don’t agree, and here’s why.” Resist the temptation to yell, use sarcasm, or make derogatory comments and you’ll have a much better chance of getting your point across.
- Use “I” statements to communicate how you feel, what you think, and what you want or need. Using “you” statements can sound argumentative. For example, telling your mom or dad, “You always remind me about my chores on Wednesdays when you know I have a lot of homework” has a very different tone from “I’m feeling pressured because I have a lot of homework tonight. Can I do those chores tomorrow?”
- Listen to the other point of view. Being a good listener is a way of showing that you respect and understand the other person’s perspective. That makes it more likely he or she will do the same for you. When the other person is talking, try to stop yourself from thinking about why you disagree or what you’ll say next. Instead, focus on what’s being said. When it’s your turn to talk, repeat any key points the other person made to show you listened and heard what was said. Then calmly present your case and why you disagree.
- Stay calm. This is the most important thing you can do to keep a conversation on track. Of course, it’s a huge challenge to stay calm and rational when you feel angry or passionate about something — especially if the person you’re talking to gets heated. You may need to be the mature one who manages the conversation, even if the other person is a parent or someone who should know better.
Its the ager, resentment , frustration that you need to conquer. More importantly learn to manage your EGO which brings in the I ness, I am the doer, I am this and I am that which often arises from ignorance. Ignorance of others , ignorance of self. Once you understand who you truly are, there will be no space left for conflict. Respond before react and respond if and only if necessary else let it pass, allow life to unfold with love ,compassion, empathy and kindness.
Hope this helps. Happiness and sunshine
Niddhi
Sunnies My Bunnies:) 