“Why are you so lazy? Get up and complete your task” said a mom to her 9 yr old son with frustration in her tone.
“Paint patiently , else you will ruin your drawing ” she told her 11 yr old concerned,while the 9 yr old overlooks.
Now , analyse this from the child’s perspective. Is it not confusing? Put yourself in the shoes of the 9 yr old and imagine his state of mind. 8 out of 10 kids rebel at this stating that the mother is unfair, ending the argument with a statement heard most commonly in households having kids of this age “Mom you love him/her more than me”.
Kids fail to understand the importance of situations and hence actions. While one event requires patience the other may need speed and timely execution.
Now the question is how to explain this to your child ?
Remember taking part in the spoon and marble race in your school days . Where you have to balance a marble on a spoon while you run across the finish line . I cannot think of a better example of patience and speed . While it needs patience to balance you also need speed to win the race at the same time . Here both patience and speed have their respective and important roles to play. Both have to work together in perfect sync. Excess of either leads to elimination or failure.
“The two worst strategic mistakes to make are acting prematurely and letting an opportunity slip”
What do you learn ?
Treat each situation as if it were unique and never resort to formula,recipes or other people’s opinions. Be different, be unpredictable. Think smart , think quick ,show speed in finding solutions to a problem, but never repeat your actions and your mistakes done in the past. But sometimes it is advisable to show patience and refrain from speed. A war which can be ended with words and patience does not require haste and blood shed. Remember what matters is how the war ended. All is well that ends well.
Now you may ask , Nidhi what about situations when the mind is confused and needs time to think , how to save myself in such a rat race? How to train myself and my child to handle competition?
Confuse your opponent , disguise your actions and let them die due to lack of enthusiasm. Make them believe that they gain nothing by beating you. Don’t misunderstand me , this does not mean that you give up and not strive to win , all I want you to do is think outside the box and be unpredictable. Confusing the opponent buys you time to think and then take action.
Example:
- Keeping quiet in an argument or accepting your mistakes before hand extinguishes the desire to fight in your opponent and gives you a chance to learn from your mistakes too.
- Not concentrating on the problem itself and focusing on its solutions ,makes any problem loose its luster. Here the energy is directed in the positive channel and is result driven.
- Refrain from doing the obvious ,instead do the extra ordinary. Colouring the grass blue and painting the sky orange,gives new perspective and birth to new concepts which are otherwise not even thought of.
- Smile at your opponent , it will either warm their hearts or piss them off . Either ways you win .
All I want to say is discern before action then choose whether to act in patience or speed and look forward to conclude the same effectively.
Question :
How to you react toward situations ?
Mindful practice :
List down 3 instances of each where you used patience or speed in taking decisions and write their outcomes. Analyse the results and decide for yourself .
Happiness and sunshine
Nidhi
Sunnies My Bunnies:) 