Summer holidays calls for some indoor workshops. This time in kolkata I was invited to be a part of one along with my children. This was an art and craft workshop teaching different forms of art . Day 1 was about glass painting and day 2 was dedicated to worli art.
Being in a group with 10 children and respective mommies gave me enough food for thought. While we were waiting for our outlines to dry out before proceeding to fill it with colours, I was happily observing everyone around.
“Don’t smudge the colours “shouted one mom
“Draw the lines thin , make it neat” said the other.
“Your colour selection is bad”commented another mom about the same age as me.
Mind you there was a teacher there for guiding and assisting but instead of focusing on their own projects these mothers were busy correcting their children,while the teacher was a mere spectator.When I saw the faces of those children it reminded me of the movie “Trolls” when a sad incident takes away the colour from their faces and bodies.Those happy go lucky buddies suddenly turn pale and lifeless. The story does not end here. The climax was when mothers started to compare their work with their kids and then between kids. I made a mental note of all that was happening around me and finished my project without adieu. My children completed theirs too in due course of time and we left happy with imperfect prized possessions.
“Children need to be enjoyed and valued, not managed.”
Why to spend valuable time with children pointing out what isn’t working, which often leads to feelings of frustration, anxiety and discouragement – for them and for you.
Why did those mothers keep pointing at the faults ? Why did they not realise their child’s confidence to be able to attend a class like that? Why did they complain on their choice of colours or patters selected ? How could they not see the potential in their child to be able to visualise things differently. Why did they want their child to be perfect eventually loosing all its creative perfectness. Why be perfect? why not embrace the imperfect? If artist followed perfectionism there would be no variations in art forms. Right!
What was the need for them to compare and kill the inbuilt creativity in their child? Do they even know how it feels to be compared? Do you know how stressful it is ? How can you negatively impact your child and yet talk of positive parenting? Be a positive parent first. Raise yourself before raising your kids. What if the teacher compared the work of all mothers present there?
Mindful Practice for the Week
Over the week, begin to notice what is working, what is going well. Make a habit every day of celebrating a few of these successes. They could be as humble as drawing a straight line or as difficult as a life lesson of riding a bike. Your children will eventually want to join in the fun. Make it happy , make it count. Stop correcting , start connecting.
What is your language telling your child? Understand and take note. Review each night and improve yourself the next day until you succeed .
Treat your children the way you want to be treated by them . Respect them ,listen to them and more importantly love them unconditionally with utmost kindness. Loving kindness is the only way to have happy kids.
Happiness and sunshine
P.S: sharing some our art works .