Why you should not do your child’s homework !

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Last week at a gathering over tea, we ladies (around 10) were gossiping on various subjects. The mood was light and the mint tea refreshing. But slowly the conversation started to heat up and I saw ladies all trying to speak at once. And what was the debate on? “Homework”. Most of them admitted that they help their kids do homework and two said that they themselves research on the topic and spoon feed their kids. I was not shocked but amazed at this.

I never do my child’s work; neither do I check what they have done. Yes, I give them a guideline or explain what has to be done but never how it is to be done. Children get mad at me for not helping them, but I know that’s temporary and it will benefit them in the long learn. If I help them, it will dissolve the purpose of homework.

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Why is a home assignments or homework given? Is is given to access the knowledge of the parent/s or of the child? That is my question to you. Now u may ask ,Nidhi what about time pressures, grades and maintaining work –family balance. Is is not easier to tell them how to do and save on time and energy? I know of some parents who research on google for the child and give them prints and the child is asked to copy paste. Today I want to answer them back,

  • If you do your child’s work, how the hell will the teacher understand how much your child has understood? Now think, according to the teacher your child is a pro and has understood the topic and hence he/she will pay attention in explaining other kids and not yours. But in reality your child knows none and is left clueless until the end of topic. So who is the looser your child, right!

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  • You think by helping your child his/her grades will improve? Yes, sure. But only in his/her homework assessment. But what happens in class? The child is still clueless. The child fails to demonstrate the same expertise in class and leaves the teacher confused.
  • Now sometime you pitch in because of too much homework and for the sake of getting everything completed on time you volunteer to do. Happens! But does this happen only once a week? NO. homework is a continuous process. It prepares the child to handle deadlines from an early age. But if your child has no taste of pressure he/she may collapse at a stage more harmful than today.

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  • Moreover, when you do your child’s homework you send him/her a message that he/she is incapable of doing it on their own. You raise this doubt in your child’s mind which shakes their confidence and questions their own capability.
  • You make them dependent on you. While you might boost of being most important to your kids but at what cost? When a child is not trusted and given responsibility to do his/her own work, their brain remains un utilized and they remain unaware of their own potential. Instead of taking risks they become risk averse.

On the contrary when you don’t do your child’s work

  • The teacher gages his/her right understanding and takes an extra effort to explain and clarify their doubts and rectify mistakes in class. The teacher gives attention to the child making sure any new topic is well understood to all in class.

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  • The child becomes independent and understands the value of time. Your child becomes a pro at time management which is the biggest problem of the modern generation.
  • They learn to match deadlines and handle pressure from a tender age which will help them in the long run. It makes them organised and presentable to the outside world. It makes them confident and well-informed about the topic in question.
  • They understand responsibility and use their maximum potential to solve problems. They learn how to research by themselves making them tech savvy and gadget friendly.

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  • It magnifies thinking skills. And they think they prosper and grow. It nurtures curiosity building in the quest to know more and to learn more. And once the child is bitten by this bug, the sky is the limit.
  • A well-read child is always a bright child. When children do their own work, they read a lot hence broadening their horizons and making them more knowledgeable.

“It’s better to let your child cry than to rob his/her intelligence. Serve him the ingredients and not the meal and spoon-feeding, no chance.”

Instead what you should do.

  • Write a letter  or email to the teacher explaining that the homework is too tough for your child or that he/she has not understood the concept.

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  • Meet the teacher and express your concerns and mutually decide on how to bring your child to the grade level not worrying too much about numbers.
  • Explain to your child the importance of homework.
  • Encourage your child to ask questions in class and clear his/her doubts which will aid him/her in home work.
  • Tell your child not to worry about grades or marks instead focus on understanding the concepts.

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Are you ready to control your emotions and not get tempted to finish homework for your child? I am. Do let me know if you have something to add to this. Unlike “My daddy strongest” lets propagate “Read – understand – reply”.

looking forward to hearing from you soon

happiness and sunshine

Nidhi

12 Comments Add yours

  1. madhhuparna says:

    Hi, my daughter is 2 years and I put her in playschool at 17 months…gradually the playschool has started giving her homework…learning abcd numbers etc. They told me to establish a routine of doing homework regularly with her. My kid loves doing homework. It interests her a lot. My question is should the playschool be giving her homework at this tender age? I spend 15 minutes with my kid teaching her abcd numbers and repeating concepts which she’s picking up fast, but some things are beyond her comprehension. I assist her in colouring activities and also give her control in some areas like let her colour on her own in loose paper sheets….how involved should I be in her homework at this age? Should she, at age 2, be doing homework at all? Would like your hear all your perspective on this…thanks.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Kids at such a tender age should be left free to explore their minds and creativity. There is no need for homework at such an age . They should be nurtured and not tortured .
      This is my thought and please never teach your children to write or explain phonetics to them at home . From personal experience I can say these should be beat taught at school .

      Liked by 1 person

  2. madhhuparna says:

    Thanks nidhi…i was thinking the same…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are most welcome . What is the need for homework anyways?? At 2 yrs of age ? It’s absurd

      Liked by 1 person

      1. madhhuparna says:

        Apparently the school is saying…it will create a habit in the child for sitting for homework…instilling some discipline whereby she knows it’s homework time…i don’t know how effective that would be…i used to sit with her for homework but lately I’ve stopped

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Congratulate yourself for taking the step .also why scare the child with routine at such a tender age . She will
        Learn as she grows let her be free now . This is not called discipline anyways .

        Liked by 1 person

  3. madhhuparna says:

    Yeah…somewhere inside I had this doubt…i don’t think she needs that kind of discipline…originally the intention was that she goes to playschool to play and enjoy socialisizing with other kids…thats why they’re called playschool…i think I’ll skip the homework from now on.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Let her do as much as she wants on her own .

      Like

  4. arv! says:

    I strongly feel that most kids can handle it all on their own. Doing homework and spoiling them will ruin learning abilities. You will only hamper child’s growth. You’ll have to experience withdrawal symptoms whenever you stop helping in this manner

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Agree 100 % we need to stay strong and learn to handle our own withdrawal symptoms first . Keep calm and carry on

      Like

      1. arv! says:

        😃👍

        Liked by 1 person

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