Different people respond differently to one question asked to them ; “What do you love?”
I love chocolates,
I love my job,
I love my mother,
I love my spouse,
I love sunshine,
I love my dog,
The word love is used as an expression of affection towards someone else (I love you) but it also expresses pleasure (I love chocolate). The word “love” also expresses a human virtue that is based on compassion, affection and kindness.To understand love we need to use the word love appropriately. Example: I love chocolate, becomes: I enjoy chocolate. I love my job, becomes: I have passion for what I do. Enjoying, loving and passion are 3 different emotions but if we use love for each emotion it looses its importance. The love you feel for your partner is not the same as the love you feel for your mother. Even the love for your partner changes in time specially after an argument, Right? That time it’s very difficult to say I LOVE YOU from your mouth even though you do.
The ancient Greek used 7 words to define the different states of love:
Storge: natural affection, the love you share with your family. This is the love you expect in relationships and from your children. This in its purest form should not be judged.
Philia: the love that you have for friends. Here love is being in company of friends, to chat, to gossip and to do all things naughty. Share secrets and share happiness.
Eros: sexual and erotic desire kind of love. This in its positive form becomes the soul of a healthy marriage while manifests into lust and greed when turns negative.
Agape: this is the unconditional love, or divine love. This is the purest form of love for the supreme which cannot be expressed but only felt. It is seen in the form of devotion and peace.
Ludus: this is playful love, like childish love or flirting. Siblings love, crushes and infatuations come under this category. This has more to do with liking than loving in real.
Pragma: long standing love. The love in a married couple. This is the love seen in commitments which is steady and pure. It has strength, faith and trust as its essence.
Philautia: the love of the self. It is very important to love yourself for a positive outlook towards life, whereas suicides are a result of negative love for self.
They say love is finding happiness in others happiness. Yes. But to feel good for others, you need to feel good for yourself first. To care for others, you need to take care of yourself first. This reminds me of the famous airline announcement “Please fasten your seat belts before helping others”. To enjoy the company of others you need to make yourself worthy of someone else’s company or enjoy your own company. To find divine love you first have to be in harmony with your own self. Your own body, mind and soul need to be synced before you can sync with the supreme. To love the taste of chocolates or coffee or sunshine you first need to taste it or experience it before commenting on whether you love it or not. To be loved in family you first have to give love to others and make yourself worthy of love. And all this only happens when you love yourself unconditionally. This is a state of being, that has nothing to do, with something or someone outside yourself. This is the purest form of Love.
And how do you cultivate self-love?
- By taking care of yourself and your body, health is wealth. Join a walking club, burn some calories and make yourself flexible and young in the mind.
- By practicing gratitude and being thankful to yourself and others. I did this by making my happiness jar. Now it’s time for you to create one.
- By focusing on yourself and making yourself a priority. Self-love is not being selfish it’s about standing for your rights and understanding yourself.
- Being mindful to your inner voice. practice meditating and find peace in the state of calm. Start with concentrating on your breath for 5 cycles and gradually build it up. Listen to yourself.
- By staying away from negativity, being selective in choice. Say no to negative thoughts, negative emotions and negative elementals and clean your aura.
- By forgiving others, seek forgiveness from others and most importantly forgiving yourself. Do not self-pity, or self-punish yourself with harsh words and actions. Be kind to yourself.
- By building positive affirmations, I am happy, I choose to be happy, I love myself are some which may help.
Self-love is not selfish; you cannot truly love another until you know how to love yourself.
Say I Love myself often and believe in the power of love. Imagine yourself how you always wanted yourself to be and soon you shall conquer it. As The Secret says “Thoughts become things and what you think you become “ . Hope you have found your true love just at I did.
Love yourself and the world will love you.
Happiness and sunshine