Sparsh (9yr) recently had a class activity on leadership. They had to work in groups and make a presentation /poster etc. and talk about effective leadership. He came home happy as their group stood 2nd in the activity. While putting him to sleep that night, I asked about his contribution in the said activity. “I did all the art work by making posters” he exclaimed proudly. “And “, I asked. After thinking for a while he said that he had given some inputs for the speech as well. I kept quiet and asked him to sleep as it was getting late.
After 10 mins of thinking with his eyes closed he said, “Mom my contribution to the speech was very little, I should have taken active participation in its formation, writing and delivery”.
Now I had a broad smile on my face, I wished him luck and kissed him good night.
However little his contribution might be, it bought a big change in his reflective. He began to think about how to improve himself. He could identify his shortfalls and this is great for a 9 year old. Can you do this?
Reflective teaches you to analyse yourself and often provide unknown facts about ourselves. It changes perspective/ attitude and instead of thinking now what we start to think so what and give a new direction to problem solving. They begin to think and rethink in all possible angles and this helps them in becoming better leaders, motivators and speakers.
This incident changed my reflective too. I learnt that children will only learn and behave when they feel better. You cannot expect them to behave better by making them feel worse. If I had shown despair and accused him of not being pro- active, he would never have thought the way he did. You need to have faith in your child and give him enough space to re-evaluate himself/herself. Only then they will think on what’s lacking, and work towards improvement. Self-realisation is a must. It cannot be enforced. You and me can only guide them, rest is up to them .They need to help themselves and shy out their fears. This helps them in many ways:
1. Recognize their strengths and weakness
2. Helps in identifying what needs to be done
3. Recognise errors and make edits/changes
4. Understand and talk about feelings
5. Understand the concept of putting yourself in others shoes
6. Analyse how their behaviour affect others ,and
7. Build EQ
So next time before you raise your voice or doubt your child allow some time for reflective thinking for both yourself and your child. I am sure it will make a lot of difference as it did to Sparsh and me.
Do share your stories with me.
Happiness and sunshine 🙂